Be Present: The Perfected Way By Lisa Tilstra

My first international move has now become two-month-old history.  It’s hard to believe.  Time goes by so quickly. 

That phrase is so cliché, and yet so true: Time goes by so quickly. 

How much of time rushing by is due to my impatience, though? 

How many times in the past few months did I think, “I can’t wait until this move is over”?  (A lot!)

Now that I’m here, how often do I find myself thinking, “I can’t wait until these first few months of adjustment are over”? (Repeatedly!)

If I’m not careful, I find I’m just wishing my time away.  And deep in my heart that is the last thing I want to do.  Life is too precious to wish away.

Our move to the Philippines has challenged me on many levels.  Summing up the challenges, though, it’s one main thing: staying present. 

Every day, and all that comes to pass during those 24 hours, is a gift.  Every moment I spent with family and friends before we left—a gift.  Each hour discussing plans and strategies with my husband—gifts.  Every opportunity to learn about my new home—a gift.
 
Even today, as difficult as it was, has been a gift. I have experienced myriad emotions—frustration, joy, bitterness, hope, excitement, anger.  I’m emotionally exhausted as the day ends and everything rationale says, “This was not a good day.”

And yet, when I pause, I see beauty, mystery, intrigue.  Today was a gift. 

Before I was born, GOD knew today. He knew my today. --Psalm 139:16 [my paraphrase]

In light of this truth, I’m humbled.  I stop and raise my eyes to heaven in amazement and wonder. This moment is my gift from GOD.  Tomorrow is unknown.  I’m already telling stories about yesterday.  Today—right now—this is it!  This is the best. 

Whatever is going on in your life right now—in this moment, remember, “It is GOD who arms me with strength and makes my way perfect.” --Psalm 18:32 [NIV]  GOD does not promise a perfect way.  He promises to make my way perfect.  Today, included.

It takes courage to keep both feet in today.   Will you join me in being present today?  Open your heart to receive GOD’s gift?  Embrace His design… His perfecting of your way.

Encounter:

• What are ways you rushing time away impatiently?
• During moments of impatience, what do you need to step into the present?
• When plans are not going as anticipated, how can remembering GOD is perfecting your way, help you stay present?

Encounter Prayer:  
Father GOD, You have created today as a gift.  May I open my heart to sense Your presence.  Give me glimpses of how You are perfecting my way.  Fill me with courage to stay present.  I commit this gift of time to You.
“Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him and he will do this: He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn, the justice of your cause like the noonday sun.  Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him.” --Psalm 37:5-7a [NIV]

Devotional by Lisa Tilstra.  Posted by A. Allan Martin by permission.

Creation, continued...

February 20^th will mark seven years since Eric died.  I write that sentence and then sit with my hands in my lap, not sure what else to say.  And yet there’s so much inside—mixed emotions, a rollercoaster of feelings, memories, a reservoir of tears yet uncried, and something wants to make its way to the surface today.  I’m hoping my writing will reveal what it is.

After seven years there are some days I miss Eric more deeply than ever.  I’m remarried, my life is full and joyous, and I still miss him.  No matter how wonderful my current situation is, there’s still a hole in my heart.  There continue to be memories of Eric that make me sigh wistfully.  Out of the blue, I’ll think, ‘Eric would have said ---,’ or I’ll chuckle to myself as I think about how he would have enjoyed a new movie or song. 

Eric is on my mind a lot these days.  This past weekend I was saddened by facebook postings as four loved ones of various friends lost their battles for life.  Every one of them was young, in the midst of full and promising lives, leaving behind spouses, children, parents, boyfriends, girlfriends. 

Even though I didn’t know any of these individuals personally, my heart is pained.  I feel the pain of loss so acutely.  It stirs up memories of my own experience, stirs up thoughts of conversations with Eric’s mother—parents are not supposed to outlive their children, stirs up thoughts of crying alone, thoughts of loss.

I feel overwhelmed and somewhat helpless when I attempt to write about this.  Everyone’s experience with loss is different and yet there are emotions that overlap the differences.  Sometimes when I’m sad I reach out to a friend who lost his wife.  He understands when I describe a pervading sadness even in times of great joy and celebration.

When Eric died I had people say all kinds of helpful and unhelpful things to me.  The most popular included variations of, “There’s a reason for everything.  Someday we’ll understand why.”  This fell into the category of ‘unhelpful’ for me.  The insinuation that God let Eric die for a reason was a repulsive thought to me.  Some things happen in the world simply because it’s a sinful, broken planet.  God created us to live forever. God created a world that was perfect.  Adam and Eve unknowingly chose the alternate plan and now we live with the consequences.  And sometimes it just plain sucks.

So when I read texts like Romans 8:28, “We know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him…” I hear God saying He’ll work to create good even in the worst of circumstances.  And when good comes out of a loss—out of something painful and grievous—I don’t believe God planned the bad so the good could happen.  He’s all-powerful Creator God and speaks good things into existence.  God is still creating, speaking words into our lives and experiences that turn into healing and restoration and blessing.

So, my prayers right now for those who have lost loved ones, is that God would show up as Creator.  That He would reach His hand into the pain and loss and grief and create something good.  Because through the good God creates out of loss, our loved ones live on in our lives, our memories, and the way we approach life. 

I’m still influenced every day by Eric.  My life is more beautiful and deep because of the time he was here on this earth.  And I thank God that He’s still creating.

Encounter: What is God creating in your world?