Over the past several months I’ve been getting a common question “so, where are you from?” Since I am new to the area this seems to be the first thing people ask to try to find some common ground. I think anyone who has lived internationally finds this question awkward; without an easy answer. While I could go on and discuss the reactions I get when I tell them I moved here from Africa, I want to go in a different direction with my thoughts on “home”.
As I reflect more on the meaning of home and at what defines the feeling of being “at home”, I find myself reflecting on the times I’ve felt “at home” compared with the times I felt like a foreigner. Sometimes I can relate to the words of the song by Alison Krauss “A Living Prayer” lyrics here
As I reflect more on the meaning of home and at what defines the feeling of being “at home”, I find myself reflecting on the times I’ve felt “at home” compared with the times I felt like a foreigner. Sometimes I can relate to the words of the song by Alison Krauss “A Living Prayer” lyrics here
“In this world, I walk alone, With no place to call my home...” Especially when I have felt lonely and disconnected these words seem appropriate as I searched to figure out what was needed to feel at home. Initially it was a few sentimental things – a special blanket, books, and my journal. Maybe those things signify security in some way.
While living abroad I found it interesting that at some point (and I don’t know precisely when) I started to feel like that “foreign” place was home. I remember talking to my friend about the fact that growing up as an American, Africa always seemed so far away and sat firmly in the “unknown”. At some point this place that I had no prior connection to was now known and was home to me. America started to feel distant and unknown although I had to remind myself that I was actually LIVING in this foreign place. But what was that turning point, what made me comfortable enough that even a place so different could actually be home?
When asked where home is, I jokingly answer sometimes that “home is where my books are” and on some level I feel this might be true. I took some of my favorite books with me to Malawi and when I had those books and a few other special things, I then felt more comfortable. But the reality is that even when all of my books are unpacked and on their shelves I can still feel unsettled.
Someone defined home as where you feel safe and comfortable being yourself. When you are in a new house, new job, new town it takes time to reach the point where you feel completely yourself in that setting. Making new friendships, forming bonds with the neighborhood and resources available all contribute to being “yourself” and comfortable in those surroundings.
A spiritual home is another interesting perspective. I think everyone must come to this differently and require something a little bit different, but when do you feel at home spiritually? When do you feel that you can be honest and yourself in a spiritual community? Paul prays for the church in Ephesus that as Christ empowers them with inner strength that He would make his home in their hearts as they trusted in him. “Your roots will grow down into God’s love and keep you strong.” (from Ephesians 3:16-17 NLT) Having roots indicate permanence and stability which are characteristics of “home” which is what he was hoping for this group of believers.
David prays in Psalm 90 “Lord, through all the generations you have been our home!” (v. 1) and Ezekiel tells Israel of God’s promise, “Although I have scattered you in the countries of the world, I will be a sanctuary to you during your time of exile.” (Ez. 11:16). The prophets seem to have found a safe place in God and the promises he provided.
The next lines of the song by Alison Krauss go on to say:
While living abroad I found it interesting that at some point (and I don’t know precisely when) I started to feel like that “foreign” place was home. I remember talking to my friend about the fact that growing up as an American, Africa always seemed so far away and sat firmly in the “unknown”. At some point this place that I had no prior connection to was now known and was home to me. America started to feel distant and unknown although I had to remind myself that I was actually LIVING in this foreign place. But what was that turning point, what made me comfortable enough that even a place so different could actually be home?
When asked where home is, I jokingly answer sometimes that “home is where my books are” and on some level I feel this might be true. I took some of my favorite books with me to Malawi and when I had those books and a few other special things, I then felt more comfortable. But the reality is that even when all of my books are unpacked and on their shelves I can still feel unsettled.
Someone defined home as where you feel safe and comfortable being yourself. When you are in a new house, new job, new town it takes time to reach the point where you feel completely yourself in that setting. Making new friendships, forming bonds with the neighborhood and resources available all contribute to being “yourself” and comfortable in those surroundings.
David prays in Psalm 90 “Lord, through all the generations you have been our home!” (v. 1) and Ezekiel tells Israel of God’s promise, “Although I have scattered you in the countries of the world, I will be a sanctuary to you during your time of exile.” (Ez. 11:16). The prophets seem to have found a safe place in God and the promises he provided.
The next lines of the song by Alison Krauss go on to say:
“…but there’s One who holds my hand
The rugged road, through barren lands
The way is dark, the road is steep
But He’s become my eyes to see
The strength to climb, my griefs to bear
The Savior lives inside me there...”
I think in these words we might find that answer to the question of “how” we find a spiritual home. It is when God has become my eyes to see, my strength to climb, and lives inside me. It is when I am surrounded by these promises that I feel secure spiritually though I can’t see the way ahead – and this, I think, is home.
I think in these words we might find that answer to the question of “how” we find a spiritual home. It is when God has become my eyes to see, my strength to climb, and lives inside me. It is when I am surrounded by these promises that I feel secure spiritually though I can’t see the way ahead – and this, I think, is home.
1 comment:
Interesting to read this and then re-read an older post from 2010 also on the topic of "home". I guess this is a theme for me and I find now - after being in my new home for a year that I there are times when I still don't particularly feel like I belong. I wonder what it will take? What is the longing in my heart that doesn't seem to be fulfilled? Maybe time will make a difference or maybe not... if you are interested you can read the older post on my blog here: http://missionmalawi08.blogspot.com/2010/12/reflections-on-home.html
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